Something feels different.

Maybe you’re leaking a little after you pee. Your erections have become less reliable. You’re finishing sooner than you want. Or there’s a tight, achy feeling around your perineum, the area between your testicles and anus.

You search around for an answer and eventually land on Kegels.

It makes sense.

Your pelvic floor is involved in erections, ejaculation, and bladder control. Kegels work those muscles.

So if something in that part of your body isn’t working the way you want, strengthening the pelvic floor seems like a reasonable place to start.

Sometimes it is. But what if squeezing isn’t the thing you’re having trouble with?

This essay was informed by a conversation with Eric Leckie, a physical therapist who works with men dealing with pelvic-floor and sexual concerns.

One of the patterns he sees is pretty simple: a lot of men don’t think about their pelvic floor at all until something changes. Then they find Kegels and assume stronger muscles must be the answer.

Kegels Aren’t the Same Thing as Pelvic-Floor Health

A Kegel is basically a deliberate squeeze of your pelvic-floor muscles.

If those muscles are weak, building some strength can help.

But they also need to relax.

That sounds obvious, but it’s easy to forget when Kegels are constantly presented as the right thing to do.

One of the most useful things Leckie pointed out during our conversation was this:

Your pelvic floor can be tight and weak at the same time.

Think about keeping your fist clenched for hours.

Eventually your hand would get tired. It might start to ache. And even though it feels tight, you probably wouldn’t describe it as working especially well.

Your pelvic floor can end up in a similar place.

If those muscles are already tight all day, more squeezing probably isn't what they need.

How Does Your Pelvic Floor Feel?

This is where things get more useful.

Instead of starting with “How do I strengthen my pelvic floor?” it helps to start with what you’re actually noticing.

Does the area feel tight or sore, or are you noticing more leaking or trouble controlling those muscles?

Leckie hears from men who describe a dull ache or tension around the perineum.

Others only start paying attention after they begin doing Kegels and the area feels tighter, more sore, or generally worse afterward.

None of that tells you exactly what your pelvic floor is doing.

But it does give you a reason to question the assumption that weakness is the problem.

So adding more Kegels may not be the best place to start.

Less May Be More

One of the more surprising things Leckie mentioned was how hard some men go once they decide Kegels are the answer.

He hears from guys doing 50 or more a day, sometimes holding each squeeze for 20 seconds.

You can see how they get there. If ten are good, fifty should be better.

But your pelvic floor is a weird place to use that logic because you can’t really see what you’re doing.

You may be squeezing your butt at the same time. You might be bracing your abs or holding your breath. And you may be getting very good at squeezing without ever noticing whether you’re fully relaxing afterward.

That’s the part Leckie worries about.

If the muscles are already spending too much time tight, piling more squeezing on top may make that tension worse.

And if they really are weak, jumping straight into a huge amount of work can still leave them tired and irritated.

If you've tried Kegels and they didn’t help, that doesn’t mean you did something wrong.

It may just mean Kegels weren’t the best place to start.

Sometimes the Hard Part Is Letting Go

One of Leckie’s questions for men dealing with this has almost nothing to do with sex:

Where do you hold tension?

If you tend to clench your jaw, brace your abs, or tighten your butt or groin when you’re stressed, you may be carrying tension through your body without really noticing it.

You may not think of any of that as a pelvic-floor issue.

But if you spend most of the day bracing, your pelvic floor may be joining in more than you realize.

That’s why pelvic-floor therapy often involves exercises to help you get more comfortable letting those muscles relax.

There Are Still Plenty of Times Strengthening Makes Sense

None of this means Kegels are bad.

Sometimes strengthening really is what those muscles need.

Leckie specifically pointed to situations where that can make sense, including after prostate surgery or when weakness and leaking are genuinely part of the picture.

His Kegel program doesn’t start with a marathon of squeezing.

It begins with breathing, stretching, and movement before the Kegels build gradually. Relaxing between them is part of the work too.

The easiest way to think about Kegels is that they're one tool.

They aren’t the only useful thing in pelvic-floor health.

Don’t Let the Exercise Become the Diagnosis

If Kegels are the first answer you found when something changed, you're not alone.

Instead of jumping straight into a routine, start by paying attention to what’s actually happening.

Does your groin feel tight or sore? Are you constantly clenching?

If you tried Kegels, did they seem to help or make things worse?

Those questions won’t diagnose anything.

But they can give you a better starting point than assuming Kegels are the solution to every pelvic-floor problem.

And if pelvic pain, urinary changes, or sexual problems keep hanging around, talking with your doctor or seeing a pelvic-floor physical therapist can give you a much clearer answer than another generic exercise routine.

Because “do Kegels” answers a question you may not have actually asked yet.

Do these muscles even need to be stronger?

Learn More From The Expert: Dr. Leckie offers a step-by-step pelvic floor program and shares more men’s pelvic and sexual health education on his YouTube channel.