Pleasure, Toys, & Exploration
Pleasure, Toys, & Exploration
Sexual health isn’t only about fixing problems. Sometimes sex is simply better when it’s more comfortable, more interesting, or more fun.
Sexual health isn’t only about fixing problems. Sometimes sex is simply better when it’s more comfortable, more interesting, or more fun.
That might mean finding a lube you actually like, trying a toy, changing the kind of stimulation you use, introducing something new with a partner, or exploring a side of your sex life you haven’t paid much attention to before.
That might mean finding a lube you actually like, trying a toy, changing the kind of stimulation you use, introducing something new with a partner, or exploring a side of your sex life you haven’t paid much attention to before.
Not everything new needs to solve something. Sometimes the point is just that it feels good.
Not everything new needs to solve something. Sometimes the point is just that it feels good.
Start With What Sounds Most Familiar
Start With What Sounds Most Familiar
Making Sex Feel Better in Practical Ways
Making Sex Feel Better in Practical Ways
A lot of the things that make sex better are surprisingly simple.
A lot of the things that make sex better are surprisingly simple.
The right lube can change friction and comfort. A pillow or wedge can make a position easier to hold. A different condom can change sensation. Small changes in positioning or stimulation can make sex feel more natural without turning the whole thing into a project.
The right lube can change friction and comfort. A pillow or wedge can make a position easier to hold. A different condom can change sensation. Small changes in positioning or stimulation can make sex feel more natural without turning the whole thing into a project.
This is less about fixing a sexual problem and more about removing unnecessary friction so the experience works better for the people having it. Here are a few places to start:
This is less about fixing a sexual problem and more about removing unnecessary friction so the experience works better for the people having it. Here are a few places to start:
What Different Toys Actually Do
What Different Toys Actually Do
“Sex toy” is such a broad category that it doesn’t tell you much by itself.
“Sex toy” is such a broad category that it doesn’t tell you much by itself.
Some toys add vibration. Some create pressure or suction. Some are designed around penetration, prostate stimulation, or stimulation during partnered sex. Others simply make something easier to do for longer than a hand or body position comfortably allows.
Some toys add vibration. Some create pressure or suction. Some are designed around penetration, prostate stimulation, or stimulation during partnered sex. Others simply make something easier to do for longer than a hand or body position comfortably allows.
The useful question isn’t whether you should be using toys. It’s what kind of sensation or experience you’re actually looking for. Here are a few places to start:
The useful question isn’t whether you should be using toys. It’s what kind of sensation or experience you’re actually looking for. Here are a few places to start:
Trying New Things Without Overthinking Them
Trying New Things Without Overthinking Them
Trying something different doesn’t automatically mean sex has become boring or that something is missing.
Trying something different doesn’t automatically mean sex has become boring or that something is missing.
People get curious. Preferences change. A fantasy sounds interesting. A partner suggests something you’ve never tried. Sometimes you just want to know whether something feels good.
People get curious. Preferences change. A fantasy sounds interesting. A partner suggests something you’ve never tried. Sometimes you just want to know whether something feels good.
Exploration can be as simple as changing the kind of stimulation you use or as substantial as talking about a different relationship or sexual dynamic. None of it needs to become a statement about what your sex life was missing before. Here are a few places to start:
Exploration can be as simple as changing the kind of stimulation you use or as substantial as talking about a different relationship or sexual dynamic. None of it needs to become a statement about what your sex life was missing before. Here are a few places to start:
When Something New Feels More Complicated
When Something New Feels More Complicated
Sometimes the thing you’re trying is simple, but what it seems to mean feels more complicated.
Sometimes the thing you’re trying is simple, but what it seems to mean feels more complicated.
A partner wanting a vibrator can feel like a comment on your ability to satisfy them. Wanting more variety can get interpreted as boredom. A toy that takes pressure off an erection can still feel awkward if you think needing it says something about you.
A partner wanting a vibrator can feel like a comment on your ability to satisfy them. Wanting more variety can get interpreted as boredom. A toy that takes pressure off an erection can still feel awkward if you think needing it says something about you.
Those reactions don’t mean the new thing is a bad idea. They usually mean sex has picked up some extra meaning that the object or suggestion itself didn’t necessarily carry. Here are a few places to start:
Those reactions don’t mean the new thing is a bad idea. They usually mean sex has picked up some extra meaning that the object or suggestion itself didn’t necessarily carry. Here are a few places to start:
What Makes Exploration Work in Real Life
What Makes Exploration Work in Real Life
Something can sound great in theory and still be awkward, uncomfortable, overpriced, overhyped, or simply not your thing.
Something can sound great in theory and still be awkward, uncomfortable, overpriced, overhyped, or simply not your thing.
That’s normal. Trying something new works better when there’s enough room to change your mind, laugh when something feels ridiculous, adjust what isn’t working, and stop treating every experiment like it needs to become part of your sex life permanently.
That’s normal. Trying something new works better when there’s enough room to change your mind, laugh when something feels ridiculous, adjust what isn’t working, and stop treating every experiment like it needs to become part of your sex life permanently.
The same goes for products. Expensive doesn’t automatically mean better, and clever marketing doesn’t guarantee something will actually improve the experience. The point of exploring is to find what you enjoy, not to build the most elaborate sex life possible. Here are a few places to start:
The same goes for products. Expensive doesn’t automatically mean better, and clever marketing doesn’t guarantee something will actually improve the experience. The point of exploring is to find what you enjoy, not to build the most elaborate sex life possible. Here are a few places to start: