Pressure, Partners, & Sexual Expectations
Pressure, Partners, & Sexual Expectations
Sex can feel different depending on who you're with, what you're hoping for, and what you think is expected of you. Sometimes those differences make the experience more exciting. Other times, they can make you second-guess yourself.
Sex can feel different depending on who you're with, what you're hoping for, and what you think is expected of you. Sometimes those differences make the experience more exciting. Other times, they can make you second-guess yourself.
Maybe you're wondering how to talk about what you enjoy, why you feel pressure to be good in bed, or why sex feels different with someone new. Or maybe something didn't go the way you'd hoped, and you're wondering why.
Maybe you're wondering how to talk about what you enjoy, why you feel pressure to be good in bed, or why sex feels different with someone new. Or maybe something didn't go the way you'd hoped, and you're wondering why.
Start With What Sounds Most Familiar
Start With What Sounds Most Familiar
When Sex Starts Feeling Like a Performance
When Sex Starts Feeling Like a Performance
Part of you can be enjoying what's happening while another part is busy checking whether everything's going the way it should.
Part of you can be enjoying what's happening while another part is busy checking whether everything's going the way it should.
You might be watching your erection, worrying about finishing too soon, or wondering whether your partner is having a good time. That kind of checking can create pressure even when you don't feel especially anxious.
You might be watching your erection, worrying about finishing too soon, or wondering whether your partner is having a good time. That kind of checking can create pressure even when you don't feel especially anxious.
Want to dig a bit deeper?
Want to dig a bit deeper?
Performance Anxiety & Pressure takes a closer look at what can happen when you start worrying about sex, monitoring your body, or feeling like you need to make sure everything goes a certain way.
Performance Anxiety & Pressure takes a closer look at what can happen when you start worrying about sex, monitoring your body, or feeling like you need to make sure everything goes a certain way.
Why Sex Can Feel Different With a Partner
Why Sex Can Feel Different With a Partner
Whether you're with someone new or someone you've known for years, you're responding to another person's pace, preferences, and reactions. When you're alone, you can set your own pace and focus on what feels good to you.
Whether you're with someone new or someone you've known for years, you're responding to another person's pace, preferences, and reactions. When you're alone, you can set your own pace and focus on what feels good to you.
That difference can be part of what makes sex enjoyable, but it can also make things less predictable. What feels easy during masturbation might take more time or feel different with someone else, without automatically meaning something's wrong.
That difference can be part of what makes sex enjoyable, but it can also make things less predictable. What feels easy during masturbation might take more time or feel different with someone else, without automatically meaning something's wrong.
Want to dig a bit deeper?
Want to dig a bit deeper?
Why Sex Feels Different With a Partner looks more closely at how another person's presence, preferences, and the changes in pace and control can affect your experience. Performance Anxiety & Pressure explores what happens when those differences start making you more aware of your own performance.
Why Sex Feels Different With a Partner looks more closely at how another person's presence, preferences, and the changes in pace and control can affect your experience. Performance Anxiety & Pressure explores what happens when those differences start making you more aware of your own performance.
Talking About Sex With Your Partner
Talking About Sex With Your Partner
Talking about sex can feel surprisingly awkward, even when you're comfortable with someone. Maybe you want to ask for something different, explain why something hasn't been going well, or bring up a new idea without making your partner feel like they've been doing something wrong.
Talking about sex can feel surprisingly awkward, even when you're comfortable with someone. Maybe you want to ask for something different, explain why something hasn't been going well, or bring up a new idea without making your partner feel like they've been doing something wrong.
You don't need a perfect script. Sometimes just saying what's on your mind, even if it comes out a little awkwardly, is better than trying to guess what your partner is thinking.
You don't need a perfect script. Sometimes just saying what's on your mind, even if it comes out a little awkwardly, is better than trying to guess what your partner is thinking.
The Expectations Men Bring Into Sex
The Expectations Men Bring Into Sex
Before you ever have sex, you've probably already picked up a few ideas about what you're supposed to be like in bed.
Before you ever have sex, you've probably already picked up a few ideas about what you're supposed to be like in bed.
You're supposed to want sex. You're supposed to initiate. You're supposed to stay hard, last long enough, know what you're doing, and make sure your partner has a good time. Those expectations can become so familiar that they stop sounding like expectations at all.
You're supposed to want sex. You're supposed to initiate. You're supposed to stay hard, last long enough, know what you're doing, and make sure your partner has a good time. Those expectations can become so familiar that they stop sounding like expectations at all.
When Comparison Starts Getting in the Way
When Comparison Starts Getting in the Way
You rarely get the full picture of anyone else's sex life. Porn shows selected moments. Friends tend to tell the memorable stories. And online advice can make it sound like everyone else already knows exactly what they're doing.
You rarely get the full picture of anyone else's sex life. Porn shows selected moments. Friends tend to tell the memorable stories. And online advice can make it sound like everyone else already knows exactly what they're doing.
It's easy to turn those fragments into a standard you think you're supposed to meet. You might even compare yourself with how you were five years ago. But someone else's body, relationship, or idea of good sex doesn't tell you much about what yours is supposed to look like.
It's easy to turn those fragments into a standard you think you're supposed to meet. You might even compare yourself with how you were five years ago. But someone else's body, relationship, or idea of good sex doesn't tell you much about what yours is supposed to look like.